Church leaders often focus on funding ministry, planning generosity campaigns, analyzing giving trends, and preaching on the importance of tithing. But are we asking the right questions? Too often, our attention is fixed on the "what" (e.g., numbers, budgets, and deficits) while overlooking the "who" and the "why." True, biblical generosity is rooted in relationships, and when we lose sight of this, we risk missing its deeper, transformative purpose.
In short, no one will sacrifice for an abstraction. We sacrifice for our relationships.
When we approach generosity as a relationship, a reflection of our connection with God and with one another, the conversation shifts. It moves from budgets to blessings, from obligation to opportunity. This perspective invites deeper discipleship and helps create a culture where giving is a joyful and integral part of spiritual life.
To help you and your leadership team initiate this transformative conversation, here are five thought-provoking questions to consider regarding generosity in your church. Each question is designed to move you beyond the numbers and into the heart of what it means to build a truly generous community.
1. Is Our Generosity Language Transactional or Relational?
First, listen closely to how you talk about giving. Do you use words like "paying the bills," "meeting the budget," or "hitting our goal"? This language, while practical, frames generosity as a transaction. It positions the church as a bill to be paid rather than a family to support or a mission to advance. This transactional approach inadvertently creates a sense of duty rather than delight.
Purpose of This Question: This question helps you audit your communication to see if you are inspiring a relationship or simply requesting a transaction. Relational language connects giving to life change, mission, and worship. It frames generosity as a partnership with God and a means of caring for one another.
Potential Outcomes: A shift in your language can begin to change the congregation's perspective.. Giving becomes less about financial obligation and more about participating in God's redemptive work. Members start to see their contributions not as funding a budget, but as enabling a ministry that transforms lives. This fosters a deeper, more personal connection to the act of giving.
Actionable Follow-up: Review your recent sermons, newsletters, and giving appeals. Highlight any transactional phrases and brainstorm relational alternatives. For instance, instead of "We need $5,000 to meet our budget," try "Your gift of $50 will provide a week of meals for a family through our food pantry." Connect every giving request to a story of impact.
2. Who Receives the Gift of Life-Change from Your Generosity?
When someone gives to your church, do they feel like they are offering to an institution or to people? A powerful way to foster relational generosity is to close the gap between the giver and the person or ministry they are supporting. People are more motivated to give when they can see and feel the impact their generosity is having on a real person.
Purpose of This Question: This question challenges you to make generosity tangible and personal. It pushes you to move beyond abstract needs and showcase the specific stories of life change that are happening because of your church's ministry.
Potential Outcomes: When givers feel a direct connection to the outcome, their engagement deepens. They become partners in the story, not just donors to a fund. This personal connection builds trust and inspires greater, more consistent generosity because they see the real-world difference they are making.
Actionable Follow-up: Make storytelling a central part of your culture of generosity. Regularly share short video testimonies or written stories of people who the church's ministries have blessed. When launching a special offering, lead with the story of one person who represents the need. Ensure your "thank you" communications reinforce this connection by detailing how their specific gift is making an impact.
3. Does Our Generosity Model a One-Way or a Two-Way Street?
Biblical community involves mutual care and support. However, sometimes our generosity models can feel one-directional, with the church receiving from the congregation. Relational generosity, however, flows in all directions. It equips and empowers members to be generous with one another directly.
Purpose of This Question: This question encourages you to think about how your church facilitates member-to-member generosity. It explores whether you are creating a community where people bear one another's burdens in practical, tangible ways.
Potential Outcomes: Fostering a culture of mutual care builds deep relational bonds and demonstrates the love of Christ in action. It transforms the church from an organization people attend to a family they belong to. When members experience this level of community, their loyalty and engagement with the church's broader mission naturally increase.
Actionable Follow-up: Develop simple platforms that enable people to meet one another's needs. This could be a "benevolence" process within small groups, a "needs and haves" board in the church lobby (physical or digital), or a church-wide service day where people use their skills to help fellow members.
4. Are We Building Bridges or Silos Between Generations?
Different generations often have different perspectives on giving. Older members may value traditional tithing, while younger members might be more drawn to crowdfunding for specific, passion-driven projects. If we are not careful, these differences can create silos. A relational approach to generosity seeks to build bridges.
Purpose of This Question: This question prompts you to create giving opportunities that unite different age groups around a shared purpose, leveraging the unique strengths of each generation.
Potential Outcomes: Intergenerational generosity projects foster mutual respect and understanding. Younger generations learn from the wisdom and faithfulness of their elders, while the passion and innovation of the young energizes older generations. These shared experiences build unity and ensure a sustainable culture of generosity for the future.
Actionable Follow-up: Design a ministry project with multiple entry points for giving. For example, a project to support a local school could involve financial donations (appealing to traditional givers), a school-supply drive (engaging families), and a volunteer day for mentoring students (attracting those who want to give time). Intentionally place people from different generations on the planning team.
5. How Are We Celebrating Generosity Beyond Money?
If generosity is relational, it must include more than financial contributions. People can be generous with their time, their skills, their attention, and encouragement. When we only celebrate financial giving, we can unintentionally devalue these other vital forms of generosity and the people who offer them.
Purpose of This Question: This question helps you broaden your definition of generosity and recognize the diverse ways people contribute to the health and mission of the church.
Potential Outcomes: Celebrating all forms of giving affirms the value of every member and their unique gifts. People who may not be able to give much financially feel seen, valued, and empowered to contribute in other meaningful ways. This holistic approach creates a more vibrant and participatory church culture where everyone knows they have a crucial role to play.
Frankly, we also know that there is often a connection between giving time and talent to also giving financially. As an addendum to generational distinctives, older givers tend to express generosity when their feet follow their money. In other words, often older givers start with a financial commitment as a toe in the water to gauge the temperature before jumping into volunteer waters. On the other hand, younger generations' tendency is for their money to follow their feet; investment follows involvement.
Actionable Follow-up: Develop a rhythm of public recognition for non-monetary giving. Spotlight a "Volunteer of the Month" in your newsletter. Share a story from the pulpit about someone who used their professional skills to serve a ministry. Take time in service to thank everyone who serves, from the parking team to the nursery workers.
Shift Your Language, Change Your Culture
By asking these five crucial questions, you can initiate the important work of guiding your church toward a more relational and ultimately more biblical model of generosity. Moving away from a purely transactional approach to giving, this journey encourages a deeper understanding of stewardship as an act of worship and community.
This shift will not only strengthen your church's finances, creating a more stable foundation for ministry, but it will also profoundly deepen discipleship as members connect their giving to their spiritual growth. Furthermore, it will build an authentic community by fostering transparency and shared purpose, and unleash a new level of joyful, wholehearted participation in God's mission, both locally and globally.